Why Don’t You Just Leave?


It is important to remain supportive and non-judgmental if you know someone who is experiencing domestic violence. Here are some reasons victims rationalize staying in unhealthy relationships:

“I believe the threats about what will happen to me if I leave.”

“I was told that what is happening is my fault. I’m convinced this is probably true. I’m sure no one else could love me, and I don’t want to live my life all alone.”

“He doesn’t mean to hurt me with words or threats. He just needs an outlet for his anger. He has a lot of stress. It will all turn around and we will be happy again.”

“My children believe what is said about me and won’t want to live with me if I leave. I’ll lose custody and will be declared an unfit parent. It’s best if the children are raised with both parents.”

“I don’t have any money of my own. I can’t sign checks or withdraw money from the bank account. How would I survive? Where would I live?”

“I took a vow ‘for better or worse.’ I’m not going to fail at this marriage or give up hope.”

“No one will believe me.”

“He’s trying to stop. He always says he’s sorry, and brings me flowers. He loves me.”

It is important to be non-judgmental and supportive towards loved ones who have experienced or may be experiencing abuse. The best thing you can do for them is refer them to an organization like Domestic Violence Resource Center, an organization with knowledgeable and supportive staff who can provide help to them in a safe and confidential environment.